The Bible speaks positively about sex within marriage.
What we are about to read highlights the need even moreso today to understand the message that Christians should proclaim regarding both the high value placed on sexual relations within marriage and the high value of celibacy for singles.
“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-7
Perhaps some in the church were advocating for a sexless marriage influenced perhaps by Greek philosophical idea that viewed the body as evil.
Or perhaps this was another quote like the ones at the end of chapter 6 which Paul was correcting.
Or maybe this was another misunderstanding from Paul’s first letter that he is now having to correct, “I didn’t say that nor mean it but let me quote what you wrote me …”
Note: Some people say that single pastors and preachers should not teach on sex within marriage. We see here that the thought is nonsense because the leading figure of the New Testament Church is single and is the one who speaks most about sex within marriage.
So back to it. What do these 7 verses mean? Is it “good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman?” Paul says categorically NO. Here are 6 things he says:-
- All married people should have sexual relations with each other.
- In fact it is a duty and not to do so is to deprive the other. If there is going to be a break then it should be seen as for prayer (and probably fasting) and only for a short time.
- Either spouse does not have authority over their own body, it belongs to their spouse.
- Sex within marriage is for when both parties surrender perhaps their own desires (or lack of!) and give voluntarily their bodies to their spouses regardless, voluntarily, willingly and without compulsion. (The Lord loves a cheerful giver after all!)
- Both spouses have equal rights and responsibilities.
- Protect the marriage from unnecessary temptation by having regular sexual relations.
Hold on! Here comes the slap in the face …. “I wish you were all like me, single and have a non-sexual life.” Paul will say more in the next few verses and we will get to them. But the teaching on sexual relations within marriage must be taught with this declaration in the background. There is no superiority between the married and the single member in the Church. For Paul, a single man, it is better to live a sex-free single life and we will find out why next. But Paul was not alone as history is full of powerful men and women who lived the single life starting with of course Jesus. But other great examples of historical Christian figures are Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom,, Jackie Pullinger, John Stott and Dietrich Bonhoeffer. So if you’re single and whether or not you are preferring not to be encouraged by what Paul writes. If you’re married then live out the vows you committed to one another and do what Paul says. But there is no superiority.
Missions Paul 