Marriage, divorce and remarriage

Before we read what can seem very difficult verses I note down some application that helps me. It comes from Jesus and Paul (HIM not I and I not HIM). Paul uses the message from Jesus on these topics but where Jesus doesn’t expound Paul does. Here’s my summary:-

• Whenever possible marriage should be kept.
• Your walk with Christ doesn’t mean you have to walk from your marriage.
• Believers can have a spiritual impact on their unbelieving spouse.
• God wants marriages to be peaceful.
• God wants marriages to be places of hope.

So here comes the verses!

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹ But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. ¹² To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. ¹³ And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. ¹⁶ How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7 v 10-16)

Paul is answering questions that have come from their letter to him. It would seem that the Church in their desire to be more holy and spiritual were either not marrying or divorcing to live single lives. We gain that understanding from Paul’s answers so far in this chapter. So he focuses on Jesus.

Jesus said that a spouse must not separate from their spouse but if they do they should remain unmarried or be reconciled (Matt 5; 19; Mark 10; Luke 16). Looking at those passages we see that Jesus was focusing very much on the motives, attitudes and the reasoning behind divorcing and remarrying. He did not allow for divorce if it was used to pretend to be more spiritual or for personal gain (“except for immorality” indicates ‘for any cause’) and that could mean the smallest of things from a desire to get closer to God to the spouse spoiling the dinner! (Even today I read that a wife filed for divorce in California because her husband voted for Donald Trump!)

So Paul writes and says NO you are not more holy if you separate from your marriage. But if you have done so because of that reason or any similar crazy reason then remain as you are or go back to your marriage.

Jesus never spoke about what happens if a believer is married to an unbeliever, so Paul (I not Jesus) gives wisdom.

• An unbelieving spouse isn’t saved because of the believing spouse but there is a greater chance of being so and the values of the believing spouse are more likely to rub off on to them.
• If the unbelieving spouse walks from the believer then let it be. The believing spouse is not then bound to the vows they have made to the deserting spouse and so are free to start again and remarry if they want to do so.

These verses and similar ones in the Bible have been misinterpreted causing pain to those who become trapped into a legalistic Christianity where grace is in short supply but also by those who have such casual approach to life where holiness is an option.

We must uphold marriage but at the same time understand we live in a fallen and ever changing world where relationships break and pain exists. No one ever falls outside of the grace of God to reach them to pick them back up again not to then put them in a set of chains for the rest of their lives but to bring them into true freedom.

I guess every situation is different. We must carry the Word of God into those situations but not man’s interpretation of it that only meets some wrong motive and attitude.