We all desire acceptance. We have been doing so since we were children. We begin looking to parents, teachers and our peers for approval. We need to know we are valued and that we matter. This is fine, but it can turn into something more desperate, and when it does, then it can become the goal and strategy of our lives. We focus on doing rather than being. Performance is more important than presence. We are even prepared to make mistakes to progress toward approval. There are times when these mistakes are seismic.
“Now Esau learned that Isaac had blessed Jacob and had sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he commanded him, “Do not marry a Canaanite woman,” 7 and that Jacob had obeyed his father and mother and had gone to Paddan Aram. 8 Esau then realized how displeasing the Canaanite women were to his father Isaac; 9 so he went to Ishmael and married Mahalath, the sister of Nebaioth and daughter of Ishmael son of Abraham, in addition to the wives he already had.” (Genesis 28 v 6-9)
Esau was such a complicated and lost soul. A quick examination of what we have read over the last several days and today reveals some of his thoughts.
- He discovers that Jacob, his brother who stole his birthright and blessing, has now received a further blessing from their father, Isaac.
- He is told that Jacob has been sent with one purpose, and that was not to marry Canaanite women, as Esau had married.
- This was when he discovered that his Canaanite wives were displeasing to his father. (It would seem strange that he didn’t realise that marrying outside his parents’ wishes would not have hurt them).
So what does he do?
He marries again! This time through Abraham’s line via Ishmael. Surely this will fix things. Impulsiveness rarely does!
How many in longing to please rush into things to try and make things better?
Esau lived a life longing for approval, but he never thought that giving things away cheaply (a bowl of stew), making his own decisions that lay contrary to his culture (Canaanite wives) and rushing to then marry again, seeking to be back in the good books of his father, actually were making things worse.
Whether it is religious compliance or a desperate search for approval, these decisions can become simply reckless ones rather than a genuine conviction about the right course of action.
Esau’s story reveals a man caught in painful patterns of seeking what he’d already lost. Something the gospel speaks to perfectly.
Missions Paul 