Do you know the feeling when the past catches up with you? Maybe a name appears on your phone, and it makes your hand shake? In a crowd, you spot that familiar face, and the memories come flooding back. The past suddenly is unavoidable.
Jacob knew these feelings.
“Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favour in your eyes.’” 6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.” 7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups,and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one group,the groupthat is left may escape.” (Genesis 32 v 3-8)
Why was Jacob in great fear and distress? It was because four hundred men were with Esau, his brother, whom he had defrauded out of his birthright twenty years ago. Do you remember? He deceived his dying father and stole Esau’s birthright and then fled before Esau could kill him. He hasn’t forgotten, and he knows Esau wouldn’t have either.
We all know the feelings when something we wish were buried resurfaces. We could have avoided a conversation for twenty years. We may have damaged a relationship that has never had a chance to be repaired. It can feel like four hundred soldiers are going to be hammering down your door any moment.
Faith is not the absence of fear. It is moving forward despite fear.
What does four hundred soldiers look like in your life today?
What needs resolving? Perhaps the four hundred soldiers are a phone call you have to make, but you keep putting off.
What is not going away?
You don’t know how the other person will respond. You can’t control that. But you can control whether you take the first step.
What are your four hundred soldiers?
And what would it look like, this week, to finally walk toward them?
Missions Paul 