It’s been awhile since I’ve written on something very sensitive and I do so gently, prayerfully because I know of many impacted by this and because it is here in the Bible and I won’t skip over it.
“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.” (Genesis 2 v 18-20)
This is the first time in the garden that God says, ‘it’s not good.’ Had He made a mistake? That would be inconceivable. It was more, “this creation is not completed.” So He continues to create and He does so not from nothing or from His breath but from something He had already created. But first something else happens before He fixes the problem. All the animal kingdom are brought to Adam in some form of naming ceremony.
Can you imagine? How long did this take? Did Adam spend days, weeks, watching creatures parade before him—lions and sparrows, elephants and butterflies? Did he really name everything, even the razorfish and the tasselled wobbegong? The text doesn’t tell us, but we know this: “For Adam no suitable helper was found.”
How long did this ceremony take?! How did he come up with all these names? When he named them all, is that really everything? Did he name the Aeoliscus strigatus (we know it as the razor fish)?!
But something else is taking place. “But for Adam no suitable helper was found.” In this naming ceremony, Adam saw each creature probably in pairs and he becomes very much aware that he is alone. And that’s what is not good. There wasn’t anything suitable for him.
Pause. Only outside the garden (His presence) do we experience pain. At this moment in the garden life is perfect, no sin has entered, so Adam isn’t disappointed or upset.
God was trying to teach Adam something here in the garden. The Hebrew word for helper isn’t a subordinate term, it is actually used for God in the Bible as our helper. It means a complimentary partner. God was showing Adam that there was no one at his level, his equal, there was no one who completed what was incomplete in him.
Adam had to feel the weight of his solitude, even surrounded by all of God’s creation, before he could fully rejoice in the gift of companionship that was coming. What does this teach us?
- Loneliness isn’t a lack of faith or points to some character flaw, rather it is a human need in all of us.
- Even though he was single, Adam was fully human, fully alive, fully himself, created in God’s image and walking with God in perfection, on his own. If you are alone today for whatever reason, this is still a reality for you. This is the call of the garden.
- Outside of the garden, this story obviously exists and it does so with pain and there are no promises here that are guarantees to fix a heart’s desire. So if that applies to you don’t let anyone lay something on you that isn’t correct.
- Adam had to discover what he needed and God took him on that journey of discovery. Sometimes we think we know however understanding can take a while.
- The church is not marriage but it is family. Christ came to create a community, friendship, purpose and place us all back into His garden-presence and though it may not fix everything it is a help to so many.
- Your longing is seen. God sees it. According to this story, it matters to Him that He does. The longing is part of Adam’s story.

