Category: Devotions

Firstly, here’s a few things we shouldn’t say to bring the best out of someone:

“I can’t believe you would say (or do) that!”

Don’t believe it then. Believe in them even if they get it wrong. Believe in them even if they fail to believe in themselves.

“We’re so different!”

That’s good. There are so many missed opportunities because we cannot see past our own biases or hurts to spot something so different, unique and precious.

“I told you so!”

They will know you did. The outcomes of life are crucially important for us to learn and develop and they can be robbed from us by some know-it-all-expert on everything.

The Apostle’s readers know that he is drawing on the Jewish marriage culture as he speaks of what Christ has done for His Church: Laying His life down, washing with the Rhema (spoken life-affirming words) …

“… and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. “ Ephesians 5 v 27

The Message says, “Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her …”

Paul’s readers are not seeing this through the filter of a woman dressed in white walking down the aisle to meet her husband.

Steeped in their cultural context is the system of presenting sacrifices to the gods/God. The priest had to present himself and then the sacrifices were to be offered without fault so that the gods/God would be pleased. Paul uses the word ekklesia (church), it means to be called out. The radiant called-out ones.

Their thoughts of marriage would be their Jewish customs where the groom prepares a place for His bride and the bride prepares herself for his return so that she can look her best.

The Apostle says that whilst the Church is waiting for Jesus, the Groom, through the Holy Spirit He brings the best out of us, dealing with the stains, wrinkles and blemishes by His Word.

Christ brings the best out of the Church.

Husbands bring the best out of their wives.

Let each one of us single or married bring the best out of one another.

That is success.

(There are many who live with verbal abuse either in their relationships or through social media messages that range from name-calling, condescension, criticism, demeaning and manipulation. No one should feel trapped inside those relationships and should be rescued. No one should have to read such comments on social media and need to be encouraged to delete and block those people.)

The Apostle’s readers know that he is drawing on the Jewish marriage culture as he speaks of what Christ has done for His Church.

“ … to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” Ephesians 5 v 26

Christ laid his life down to sanctify the Church and has made her ready for Him by washing her with the word.

Paul is speaking of Christ and the Church but is using Jewish marriage as an illustration. This is so important for the many single people who do not need to skip over this passage thinking it doesn’t apply to them. It does. It is about Christ. Marriage is used as the example so that we have better understanding.

Just before their wedding the brides (and some grooms) will immerse themselves in a pool of water, the mikveh, usually in the synagogue, to cleanse themselves spiritually and prepare for their married state. Many will install a mikveh (this is an addition to a shower/bath) in their homes today so that throughout the marriage Jewish women will ritually immerse themselves each month and especially after childbirth.

We may now only have the images of the mikveh but also of Christian baptism but hold that thought because Paul speaks of washing through the Rhema.

Rhema is the spoken word.

For example, Jesus says, “the words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life” (John 6:63)

Whereas Logos would be the entire Word, that is the Bible, Rhema is a portion of it. It is when verses leap off the pages and impact our lives. It is also the Spirit’s voice in our hearts. It is the speaking, the action, this can be harmful but it can also be beautifully life-affirming which cleanses and energises our lives.

On Friday someone messaged me through social media to explain how every day she sends a message to someone the Holy Spirit shows her simply to encourage them. That day the Holy Spirit showed her it was me! The timing was perfect. The message was Rhema and it was life-affirming and I was indeed energised by it.

The Apostle is speaking of Christ and the Church.

He uses the husband who is modelled after Christ as the illustration.

Is the wife energised by the husband’s life-affirming Rhema words?

Of course you don’t need to be a husband to do this. Today we can be instruments of Christ’s life. And how people need that in the days we live in!

Failure, disappointment, or betrayal from any loved one is always difficult to manage. But when a husband is abused and according to experts there are many, many husbands suffering silently then what do they do? Where do they turn? How do they raise their complaint? Do they just ‘take it like a man’? No not at all. All forms of abuse are wrong and the victim rescued.

As I have done throughout the last few days on this sensitive issue of husbands and wives I acknowledge the hurt that husbands have had when their wives are not being who they should be.

However, I still believe that what the Apostle says is true:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  Ephesians 5 v 25

With the Husband’s model being Jesus Christ then it is easy to see how they are called to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

And again for any single men, relationships and marriage is not the utopia, relationship with Christ is. Your relationship with Christ is more important than if you haven’t got a relationship with a woman.

How does Christ love the Church?

1. Christ loves first. He came to and for us. He initiated and participated which is the meaning of the word submission.
2. Christ’s love is the destination. Christ didn’t just come to take us into eternity though that is our destination. The prayer of Jesus in John 17:3 “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” His love brings us into the experience of knowing Him.
3. Christ’s love is not necessarily reciprocal. It is not coming based on the discovery of beauty or value, but it comes out of its own nature.
4. Christ’s love never disappears. At all times and in all circumstances the love of Christ flows so that nothing can separate us from it other than we choose not to abide in it.
5. Christ’s love heals the wounds. To be healed is to a) know we are loved; b) know we belong; c) know how to live for Him.
6. Christ’s love is replicated. We love Him and we love others because we have received love. We are not thinking of ourselves. We mirror Him.

This is how Christ loves the Church.

This is what we must see in the Husbands.

(To begin with I’m not a legalist, a chauvinist nor a misogynist. I do believe bullying, abuse, heartache and divorce are the most painful of times and not the desire of God for our lives. I do believe running away from a relationship in order to survive can be 100% the best thing to do. I do have close friends who I have supported all over the world who have gone through hell in these matters.)

Let’s see what the Apostle says next:

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5 v 24

Paul has been criticised the most amongst the New Testament writers for the way he writes about women though Peter also says wives should submit (1 Peter 3 v1).

In Paul’s day men always held the power. It was held within Roman law. The male as head had complete authority over his wife and children. Wives were not equals.

Three centuries before Paul, philosophers like Aristotle would develop instructions for the man on how to govern wives, children and slaves. They became known as ‘household codes’.

When people came to Christ and found their new identity in Him, it would be a challenge to their culture and law. So the new community of followers of Jesus would provide their own set of household codes modelled after the philosophers on how to govern wives, children and slaves.

This is most probably why the Apostle brings his own version of the household code.

Can a household code of 2,000 years ago have anything to say for us today? Yes so long as it can be applied and most importantly we see it through the lens of Jesus Christ of which Paul is keen for us to do just that.

So the wife should submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ. How the Church submits to Christ should be seen in how the wife submits to her husband. Paul doesn’t attack his culture or his law, he could have done but he says nothing, he just points to Christ. The model to centre our whole life on and the answer to life’s problems: Jesus Christ.

What kind of relationship does the Church have with Christ?

1. Submission is voluntary. It is not subjection. It is a willingness, a desire, a longing to do so. The Church wants to do this. It is not forced obedience. Christ’s work isn’t to force the Church to submit. But to demonstrate love so the passion of the Church is to do so.
2. Submission is intimate. The Church doesn’t submit to a stack of rules (though we do have the moral code of the 10 commandments) nor a deity that is unknown. Christ flows into our lives daily, constantly by His Spirit and we know Him and we are known by Him.
3. Submission is tender. The Church doesn’t submit under fear that Christ will strike us down at any moment. Even if we have been like an adulterous spouse He will forgive us. There is no destructive fear in this submission. In fact, (I mentioned Peter earlier agreeing with Paul that wives should submit to their husbands) Peter also goes on to say that if husbands mistreat their wives in anyway then God isn’t going to listen to them at all (1 Peter 3 v7). The Church knows that Christ will not take them down a road of damnation even if the path seems like a shadow of death they find He is with them, comforting and encouraging them and telling them it will all be okay.
4. Submission is not robbery. The Church submits all that we have and are but Christ doesn’t remove our character, our personality or our identity, He fashions them. Christ works in us and with us to make us the best version of us we can be. We become all that we can become through our submission to Him.
5. Submission is everything. The Church doesn’t give just a part of herself to Christ. I love the hymn: Take my life, and let it be. Don’t just take my attendance, but my finance, my time, my agenda, my past, my present and my future. The Church gives their all.

Let’s take a pause.

That’s what the wives should do.

What about the husbands?!!

Well, they’re modelled after Christ anyway and they’re hanging on the cross dying for their wives!

It is impossible to take these words and use them abusively if the man is on the cross dying to himself.

It is also impossible to take these words and for the wife to ‘abuse’ the husband who is on the cross.

6. This submission is the utopia. A note to single people perhaps who live in a world and in the Church which says relationships and marriage is the big deal, it is everything, paradise and more. In fact if you don’t have this then there is something wrong. Marriage is just an example of the real deal. The big thing is indeed the relationship with Christ of which the Apostle who is probably single whether by abandonment of his wife or family intervention when he became a follower of Jesus is saying we should all look to as the utopia. Two human beings living together all their life is bound to be tiring, disappointing and sometimes leave the spouse longing for more. Your husband is not Christ. Your wife will not be the perfect bride. It will not feel like a marriage made in heaven. However what is made in heaven is you/the Church’s relationship/marriage with Christ.

7. Submission only feels like love. When we go deeper into Christ and all He has done for His bride then all we see is love.

(Please note this is obviously part of a series so read my further blogs as we continue through this book of Ephesians)

(For over 20 years I have been rising early to pray, to read the Bible and to journal some thoughts. This is not a teaching blog, with lots of research to accompany it. Others are far more qualified to do that. These are just thoughts coming out of my prayer time. I made it available firstly to my church that I Pastored in Yorkshire to encourage them to read and apply the Bible for themselves. When I moved from there to serve the Elim missionaries as their International Director I was asked to continue and here I am in 2020 in my new role as a (Pastor to the Pastors) continuing to just open my journal to anyone in order to let the Bible speak today. The difficulty is of course I purposely restrict my word count and some mornings are shorter than others but I try not to write too much because I don’t want it to become what it was never intended to be. That’s not the difficulty. But there are times when the Bible throws up subjects that are huge and I feel a pull to avoid, to skip over those verses and certainly not publish them. I forget sometimes that I am no longer publishing to a church or missionaries, friends who truly know me but to a world who are acquaintances or strangers who may never have met me. That’s the difficulty which I need to remember more in this new world of ours.)

Just like yesterday I have to ask myself do I believe this title. I do.

However, I have vivid images from being a Pastor and a Missions Director of sitting with scores of women and men who have been the victims of horrible abuse from their spouse. I’ve lived alongside the victims of the Eastern side of the DRC, known by the UN as the rape capital of the world, where woman are taken to be ‘wives’ of soldiers until they can find a way to escape. I have sat with trafficked girls of Asia who for years have been the ownership of men. One of my earliest recollections of abuse was in my first church when a husband who appeared very righteous but who beat his wife at home would sit in our church like everything was normal.

Should these women submit to their men? Of course not. They absolutely need to find an escape or be set free by us. We must do all we can to rescue them. The word submit does not apply.

Similarly when I wrote the title on the top of my page this morning I was immediately reminded of my days in Bible College where a student was married quite quickly. There wasn’t any immorality, there was no need or pressing urgency to get married so quickly having not known each other for very long, but they were convinced God had told them to be married and so they went ahead within months of meeting each other. It was only days, maybe a week, that my friend, the new husband was rescued from his home because he had been beaten up by his wife. Should he have laid down his life for his wife? Of course not!

However, the Apostle gives the context for what he is saying, ‘Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ’. How? A further context, ‘go on being filled with the Spirit.’ He then speaks about wives and husbands. Wives submit to your husbands. Some may say ‘oh he doesn’t tell husbands to submit to their wives.’ He does, he started with that statement, ‘submit to one another’.

I think the word ‘submit’ needs to be redeemed in marriage. The Greek word means to initiate and participate in that submission. When done by both spouses it is a beautiful thing. When done correctly, both parties submit to each other and strengthen the relationship. But let me continue by us looking at this next verse which on first reading can be quite shocking:

Paul says, “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.” Ephesians 5 v 23

So let me repeat what I said from the verse before in yesterday’s blog as I journey verse by verse through this amazing letter. And then I can share from this verse today.

“I am sure we can think of lots of reasons and seasons when a wife shouldn’t ‘obey’ … This is not blind obedience nor hurtful inequality or destructive inferiority.”

So let’s get into the verse.

The Husband is the Head.

Does this mean authoritative? So he has the final say? Does he win every argument? I don’t hold to that position. In fact he must lose the argument. Everyone who wins the argument loses something anyway.

Does this mean a non-authoritative source? For example like the head of a river feeding it. I do believe as we are going to continue to see over the next few verses that the husband should love like no other. I also believe he should laud her with worship (for those readers who are not British I am not using the word worship in place of God but for us Brits it also means ‘used in addressing or referring to an important or high-ranking person, especially a magistrate or mayor.’ The word is found in the 16^th century wedding vows which some couples still use today.)

The husband the head?

Is that authoritative or a non-authoritative source?

Maybe neither.

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.”

This is what the Apostle says: Christ is the head of the Church as a head is of a body; Christ is the Saviour of the Church of which the husband is to the wife.

The husband’s role model is not a bully or any form of being the boss. His role model is Jesus.

Paul introduces us to something quite extraordinary.

The Church is the bride of Christ. How did this happen?

Was it through aggression, manipulation, abuse, pushing down, treading all over her identity? No. Men who use the words of the Apostle to make their wives do what they want know nothing of Christ.

It was by being her Saviour, and how did he do that?

The complete and total, pure, selfless laying down of his life on the cross. Amazing!

But is this applicable today or is this just for the first century?

In Paul’s day women were second-class beings, they were even considered too impure to be accepted into the place of Temple worship at certain times of the month.

Into that society Paul talks of a beautiful marriage modelled by an even more special one, that of Christ and the Church. It is where both men and women, obviously different, but who wonderfully complement each other.

And within marriage the husband is the head. Not in any other way except in taking the lead to be the first to lay his life down, the first to initiate and participate in the submitting to one another, to model Jesus Christ, who did that for His bride. The Apostle will continue to reveal what Christ did for His bride and how the husband should also model their life on Christ.

(Please note this is obviously part of a series so read my further blogs as we continue through this book of Ephesians)

… to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.”

The word introduced into the Book of Common Prayer in 1549 is not often heard in wedding services. I do love the word Troth though!

I am sure we can think of lots of reasons and seasons when a wife shouldn’t ‘obey’. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that ….

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Ephesians 5 v 22

In the context of being filled with the Spirit the Apostle says we should all submit to one another. He then continues to give us some of the places where this should be seen.

In our community of worship, our churches, submit.

And then in our homes.

Remember the word, Hupotasso is:

1. Present tense meaning it is calling for a continued action, repeatedly.
2. The middle voice so the subject both initiates and participates in the action of submission.

What does submit mean?

Continually initiate and then participate in the following:

Lose the argument;

Love like no other;

Laud him with worship.

Continually because the longer you live with him in the highs and lows of life then it will become more difficult to do so at certain seasons of his life.

Initiate because if you wait for him it may never happen.

Participate because if it looks like you do this grudgingly then you might as well not bother.

BUT …

“… as you do to the Lord.”

So this cannot be achieved without firstly the filling of the Holy Spirit and secondly your focus on Jesus and what is bound within the will of the Lord. So this is not only how the wife can submit but also the protection of doing so. This is not blind obedience nor hurtful inequality or destructive inferiority. But it is Jesus who is the motivator behind this. That He might be seen in you. His work demonstrated by you towards your husband. His hand guiding you as you submit.

(Please note this is obviously part of a series which husbands also need to submit and actually do far more! so read my further blogs as we continue through this book of Ephesians)

No I’m not boasting. Though I am telling the truth. I’ve been a Pastor for 21 years in 2 Churches and I can categorically say every dispute between Christians can be solved with one word. It is a word that is known but that isn’t used very much sadly. In the last 7 years I’ve sat in the middle of many disputes across the world and now in my regions in the UK where I serve and I have been using this one word continually.

I do realise that God works all things together for good so that when we look back it even feels a relief or that it was the perfect will of God that we broke that relationship, it wasn’t, it is simply His grace. He works all things which means the bad things. Disputes and break-ups are bad things. Divorce maybe necessary at certain times but the dispute came a long time before the certificate was issued and that was a bad thing.

One other thing before saying the word, this is spiritual warfare, but of a kind that is not often talked about.

The word is what the Apostle uses in the context of continually being filled with the Spirit.

HUPOTASSO

Paul says this, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5 v 21

HUPOTASSO is a military word referring to how the soldiers were positioned under the command of their leader. In order to defeat the enemy this was the best formation of the army.

1. The word is present tense meaning it is calling for a continued action, repeatedly.
2. The word is in the middle voice so the subject both initiates and participates in the action of submission.

So how can this possible happen?! Especially when I have done nothing wrong and the other person is being so unreasonable?

Only by being filled with the Spirit.

The most evident characteristic of the filling of the Holy Spirit is submitting to one another and to Christ. It isn’t speaking in tongues. After Pentecost suddenly there is a dramatic change in the disciples’ behaviour from the 3 years of competing against one another. They begin to serve one another.

We don’t submit to one another because that person is right and we are wrong. We voluntarily do it out of reverence for Christ, for we live under the shadow of the cross which says today I will not live my life where I am the centre.

Hupotasso is the great need of the Church today.

It is how the devil is defeated.

It is how the Church becomes like Christ.

It is the evidence of the Spirit filling.

It does solve every dispute.

But sadly not many are using this word.

It was loud and joyful, the emotion and depth of feeling, every word was sang with feeling, the lyrics were often repeated but they never lost their meaning. I was in church, in a shack of a building in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and I would have done anything to transfer these 300 women to any UK church. I think I was moved because every single one of them had no reason to sing in terms of material blessing or circumstantial blessing. In fact all of them were rape victims from the ongoing rebel-led war and raped many times. Their days are as the Apostle says ‘evil’ but they sing.

When the suffering sing angels join in.

Paul says, “Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord”, Ephesians 5 v 18-19.

One of the major talking points at the moment is that Churches returning to their buildings must wear masks and they cannot sing.

Some people have gone as far as to say this is persecution. But frankly that’s a load of nonsense and they should go and sit with the persecuted Church who are losing their lives for the gospel.

Churches have not always been allowed to sing songs anyway.

As early as the 4^th century the Bishop of Milan, St Ambrose, implemented congregational singing. This had great opposition and it was stopped because Ambrose was allowing women to sing also.

However it wasn’t until the 18^th century churches began to sing the hymns as we know them today. The pioneer of these hymns was of course Isaac Watts who wrote what has been voted the greatest hymn of all time, “Our God our help in ages past.” I love a good hymn. Not all hymns are good. Isaac Watts wrote this hymn for children:

There is a dreadful hell

And everlasting pains

There sinners must with devils dwell

In darkness, fire and chains

Cheery.

Singing is very important to the Christian. It brings God into our thoughts; it lifts us above our struggles; it confirms our belief in the words we sing and it confronts the darkness that we may be facing.

Corrie Ten Boom who with her family helped save around 800 Jewish lives in the Holocaust of World War 2, captured and taken into solitary confinement would begin each day by singing, “Stand up stand up for Jesus ye soldiers of the cross.”

The history of the persecuted church is full of stories of followers of Jesus praising God in the last hours of their life on earth. Emperors were known to put their fingers in their ears and scream “why do these Christians sing as we kill them?” as the gladiators or the lions ravaged their bodies.

David ran away from Saul who was trying to kill him. He hid in a cave and wrote, “I am in the midst of lions; I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts— men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.”

But then he looks outside the cave and something erupts within his heart:

“Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth.” Psalm 57:4-5

It is not the song itself but it is the heart behind the singer. Praise stems from the heart.

Whether we are in lockdown or not, behind masks or not, able to sing publicly or not, “May the praise of God be in our mouths.” Psalm 149:6

Speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord

Psalm 57: 7-8 “I will sing and make music. I will awaken the dawn.”

God always does something in you before He does something outside of you. The internal is more important than the external.

There is a song that is sung before dawn, in the night, where there is darkness, fear, terror, loneliness, isolation, God says sing!

In conversation with my new friend the other day we were discussing a nation where the church were not only in the minority but they were persecuted and seen as second-class. He described the Church as a tiger with a collar and lead, tamed, held back, not being what it is, not realising that it is a tiger and not a domesticated pet-cat! If only they knew who they were!

That can be said of the Church in many nations I am sure. Can it be said of us?

Have we become tamed? Are we held back because we have become timid? Do we just continue to make excuses for what has happened? Have we not understood who we are? Are we blinded to our potential?

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, Ephesians 5 v 18

In contrast to the instruction on not letting the drunkenness of wine effect you the Apostle says instead I do want you to:

1. Lose control – let the Spirit impact your decision-making, taking those opportunities that come your way and understanding what the Lord wants you to do.
2. Lose confidence – let the Spirit edify, encourage and strengthen you not your self-confidence or any other stimulant.
3. Lose context – let the Spirit have the last say over your life not the evil days that the Apostle says we are living in.

We don’t have more of Him. He has more of us!

Paul uses the present tense and says ‘go on being filled to the brim, continually, be completely taken over, let every aspect of your life be invaded and ultimately possessed by the Holy Spirit without ceasing, ongoing, keeping on being filled again and again, daily and throughout the day.’

Oh and the Apostle means this also, ‘this is a command not an option but the work is God’s not yours, you cannot fill yourself, He does it, but your role is that you must give permission, allowing yourself to be filled, that is the area the command sits.’

A tiger can be kept in captivity but that doesn’t mean it is domesticated. Being ‘tamed’ which is usually done by way of abuse, fear or starvation is what the enemy of our soul has done to the Church. The persecuted Church and the pandemic-affected Church may look like it has been tamed. However, there is a new desire rising to being filled with the Spirit of God, recognising who He is and where He is, here with us His Church.

I don’t see persecution or pandemic I see followers of Jesus, the Church, being agitated by what has held them back, seeking to give all to the Spirit and to be continually filled with the power of God. Open the cage the Church is coming!

Noah became naked; Lot impregnated his daughters; Nabal died and so did Amnon; just a few drunk people in the Bible.

The Apostle says: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery” Ephesians 5 v 18.

How do we get wisdom to make great decisions?

How do we make the most of every opportunity?

How do we understand what the Lord’s will is?

These are the questions that we are left with in this section of Paul’s prison letter.

The answer is, stay sober.

It would seem Paul is contrasting pagan practices where the worship of Bacchus (the god of wine) also known as Dionysus whose worshippers felt they received special powers and abilities as they got drunk in honour of him. Bacchanalia parties were simply wine-soaked feasts leading to sexual and violent orgies. They were common place and everyone knew of them and so when the Apostle speaks of wine leading to debauchery and especially moving to speak of the impact of the Spirit upon us then his readers easily make the connection.

So why should we stay sober in 2020?

1. Don’t lose control – we need to make decisions, take our opportunities and know His will.
2. Don’t lose confidence –a depressant will not help your self-respect or respect from others.
3. Don’t lose context – the Apostle has said these are evil days and we need to be alert.