Love is not rude (amplified/cev) nor does it dishonour (niv)

“It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭5‬ ‭

Using your left hand to shake hands; opening gifts as soon as they are given; showing the soles of your feet; crossing your legs; arriving on time v arriving late. All of these are examples of rudeness within cultures. Often those who go outside of their cultures end up being rude without realising it and it is very funny and no offence is taken. But in some cultures dishonour is to experience such great shame that it can only be cleansed by ritual suicide (Japanese samurai). There lies the huge spectrum of rudeness and dishonour.

In social media yesterday I caught a trail of conversation which started out with a request from someone and before long it turned into an argument between 2 unconnected people. It ended with a simple message “rude!”

I attended a conference several years ago and a church leader who hardly knew me and certainly not enough to ask me this question, with no introduction, “what are we going to do about your girth?” My response was immediate, with no attempt of an answer, but my own question, “what are we going to do about your rudeness?”

Love cannot be rude or dishonouring. Love treats others with respect and consideration. Love honours the dignity of the other person, takes into account their feelings and communicates with care. It is to choose kind words. 

Dishonour has become so normal that when honour is demonstrated it is a wow moment. Social media is full of dishonour. Those occupying great positions in the world of Church and Politics dishonour others all the time to reclaim ground. 

When dishonour doesn’t work, offence is born. Offended hearts end the show. The lights are out. Nothing is going to be done. Love has died. 

Love is not proud 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬ 

“As soon as enough people give you enough compliments and you’re wielding more power than you’ve ever had in your life, it’s not that you become … arrogant … or become rude to people, but you get a false sense of your own importance and what you’ve accomplished. You actually think you’ve altered the course of history.”
—Leonardo DiCaprio.

It’s a great quote from a great actor who has carried his faith in God throughout his life so far. 

It’s a message to us all. 

We often think suffering is the worst enemy for the Christian, it isn’t at all? We are often so very close to God in times of difficulty. We run to Him and He is our helper. The worst enemy comes when we have something to show. When we are full. When He has blessed us. When we have a testimony. When we are healed. When we are provided for. Where there are people who want to marvel in what has been achieved, what we own or who we have become.
We show off.
Look at me. See what I have and who I am.
We need to be reminded we are not that important. If God took everything away from us then that would certainly help. Maybe He might. 

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.” -Saint Augustine

I think we genuinely need more people in all spheres of society but definitely in the Church, who will stand up and say that one of the hallmarks of their life is that they are lowly in their thinking of themselves. The axis of their worldview is that they recognise the value of others above their own value. They are humble.

Let’s stay in humility let’s stay dependent on our God.

Love does not boast

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬ 

“I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.” So said the world’s most famous boxer, Muhammad Ali.

It was an outrageous boast.
But we are familiar with such.
We live in a world of big is better, more is greater, louder, larger, so many powerful words are used to describe how we are the best. 

We are setting fires all over the world!
We are taking cities for Christ!
Thousands and thousands came to Jesus through our ministry this year!
The most effective, the biggest church, the best welcome, the church with the largest influence, the anointed musicians. The number one church, pastor, preacher, book, conference blah blah blah. We’ve had it all this year. We read it and hear it every day. It has become so common to us we hardly notice it anymore so those who rely on such claims have to make bigger ones to get our attention.

But it’s not love.

Are you wise? Do people come to you for problem-solving? Don’t talk about it.
Are you strong? Do people marvel at your ability to get through tough times? Don’t talk about it.
Are you rich? Do people love your testimony of how God has blessed you with the ability to make money? Don’t talk about it.
Talk about this: God.
Talk about how He loves and treats people.
Gossip Him. Speak of yourself less. He is far more interesting than all of us put together!

In trying to understand what love is then knowing what it isn’t is a step in the right direction!

Love does not envy.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  (1 Corinthians 13 v 4)

What consumes you will plot your course.

If the goal of your life is to be popular then you will battle envy. (When others are more popular than you).

If the goal of your life is to have the biggest church then you will battle envy. (When your church stops growing and the one across town increases rapidly).

If the goal of your life is to be separated from sinners then you will battle envy. (When God starts to manifestly love on the sinners with grace and favour).

If the goal of your life is to appear to be better than you really are then you will battle envy. (When you see others who are lesser than you being used by God equally as you).

If the goal of your life is to solely remain entrenched in an interpretation of Scripture then you will battle jenvy. (When something happens that challenges that interpretation that is promoted as being from God).

If the goal of your life is to be the only mouthpiece of God then you will battle envy. (When God decides not to speak through you for a change).

What is the true goal? Is it love?

Love is kind

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  (1 Corinthians 13 v 4)

In a closing line of the Hollywood film ‘Noah’ we are brought to the realisation that since the beginning of time kindness has been longed for. Ham had disrespected his father Noah and was setting out from the family in shame and alone.

Here’s the script:

[Packed and ready to leave Ham walks over to Ila]

Ila: You don’t have to go.

Ham: I don’t belong here. For what it’s worth, I’m glad that it begins again with you.

[Ila embraces him]

Ham: Maybe we’ll learn to be kind.

[We see Ham walking away into the distance on his own]

It’s a sobering line isn’t it?

The only way we will learn to be kind is to be filled with the love of God.

Love is kind. It is to look outwards all the time and not inwards.

Maybe we will learn to be kind. Maybe.

In another epic movie, CINDERELLA, Prince Charming says to her, “Be kind and all will be well.”

The world longs for kindness.

The Church can demonstrate it. If we choose to do so.

Every day I have an opportunity to be like God, to put on kindness. To be kind. To think of others for no other reason than because of kindness. More of them less of me. Love and sacrifice. I have an opportunity for that to be my life’s testimony.

  • Kindness is to step aside from your life to engage in another’s.
  • Kindness is to come down, not in a patronising way, but in a selfless manner.
  • Kindness is not to hold on to what you have but to empty yourself so that others can hold what they have never held.
  • Kindness is to move across the room, to leave the room, to walk across the street, to journey, crossing borders and cultures very different to your own.
  • Kindness is humility.
  • Kindness attracts the dirt and the mess of life.
  • Kindness is good news to the poor and a release to those who are held back.
  • Kindness opens eyes, lifts burdens off people and helps people into the next chapter.
  • Kindness can often be misunderstood and even criticised.
  • Kindness can be killed off but kindness will still keep coming back.

Maybe we can learn to be kind again.

Let love come.

Love is patient.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13 v 4-13)

What is love?

It is patient.

The national tree of Sri Lanka is the talipot, it is a palm tree that grows to a height of 82 feet. It only flowers once but it happens some time when it is between 30 – 80 years old. Yet I seem to live in a world where we want everything now.

Maybe you wake today to another day of battling the discouragement and disappointment of what is now on you. Within you is patience that will not give up. It never admits defeat. It is not finished off by disappointment or discouragement. Within you is love, His love.

A woman rushed up to famed violinist Fritz Kreisler (1875-1962) after a concert and cried: “I’d give my life to play as beautifully as you do.” Kreisler replied, “I did.”

If you plant a Chinese bamboo seed, it will sit in the ground for five years and appear to not be making any changes. Then, over a six-week period, it will grow 90 feet.

There is a giant Himalayan lily which spends most of its life looking like nothing at all but then after 5-7 years it grows to 9-10 feet tall and produces the most amazing delicately shaped flowers.

However, when it comes to human achievement and maybe even our own process of maturing, we are the most impatient.

Yet no human, not even Jesus moves from baby to man without the need to grow.

Within that growth comes many challenges and pains attached to the process. These are necessary for development.

The truth is one day you will stand before Him the finished article. Until then you are in the growing phase, being perfected for eternity.

Today is another day to grow. Embrace it. Love your way through the day. Let this love be patient with yourself and with others.

Without love all you have is nothing

I have been impressed by those who can preach with charisma.
I have been awed by those who speak through a filter of heaven itself.
I have been excited by those who speak for God.
For those with wisdom and knowledge, those with huge faith levels I have given the deepest of respect to.
What always stirs my heart are those who give of what they have and of themselves, laying everything down before God and man. I am moved by sacrificial, self-less surrender of wants and rights for the good of others. Yet even this amazing trait needs the right motive otherwise the gain is empty.

Paul pauses his response to the spiritual gifts as badges of honour with what has become the world-wide known love passage. Spoken mostly at weddings, seen on plaques and pictures, it speaks today to us all to practice the words. Paul opens the passage up with a warning.

“If I speak in the tonguesof men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13 v 1-3)

Oh how we rave about the gifted, skilled and able people!

This week I heard of a Pastors daughter and her husband who have given up on church though they were gifted with tremendous worship leading ability, they’ve dropped out. Why? They saw how the large church they attended dealt with their interns. They realised they were just a number, a cog in the wheel. They burnt out not because of a lack of faith or because they were frustrated with a gift-less church. They dropped out because of a lack of love.

Some are more concerned with their love of structures and strategies than the love of the saints.

What do churches need? Great preachers? The language of men and angels? Being a mouthpiece for God? Having wisdom and knowledge? Faith to be and act and do miracles upon miracles? What about amazing philanthropists? Is that it? Is that what our churches and communities need?

I talked with a pastoral couple yesterday and they reflected how after a number of years pastoring their church that their town knows the church loves the people in the community. The town knows they are loved by the church. Isn’t that amazing!

Here it is: love. Everything else doesn’t matter if you don’t have it.

Do they love people?
Is love for others the motivation behind their gifting, their action?
Loving really matters.
How you treat people counts!
Without love all you have is nothing.

The most excellent way

We have seen the power of these spiritual gifts. We have been encouraged to eagerly desire them especially the greater gifts. But there is something that outweighs all of this.

Paul steps away from the spiritual gifts for a chapter. The gifts have divided the church and they have missed something of more importance.

He is going to show them.

“And yet I will show you the most excellent way.” (1 Corinthians 12 v 31)

I have seen a church which has wonderful structures, policies and the management of the church is second to none. Yet that church has not moved into this realm that Paul will speak of. In all of their excellent development they have not discovered the most excellent way.

I have seen a church which has developed a wonderful strategy of communication. I haven’t ever seen such a model. It is purposeful and it is done to give people freedom to express their desires and concerns. Yet the tone suggests they haven’t met the most excellent way.

We have read of a church that moves in the spiritual gifts and yet is divided because they have not known the most excellent way.

There is a way which outweighs all others. There is a way that diminishes all other efforts of man. There is a way that outshines even what God gives to man. This way has been shown. It has been demonstrated by God. It is the most excellent of ways.

There is a realm that is very different to the world we wake to and live in today.

When He speaks the most excellent way is spoken.

When He sends the most excellent way is opening up.

When He shows up the most excellent way is here.

The world does not know it, though they long for it. The most excellent way never originated with us. We had nothing to do with it. We would not have known this way unless we had been shown it.

So we move into this most excellent way….

No one has it all but everyone has something

We have spent time reading many verses on body parts. Now Paul tells us why.

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31 Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.” (1 Corinthians 12 v 27-31)

The point being is that you are a body part, you and your gift that has been given to you..

No Christian or expression of Church has it all. But we are told to eagerly desire the greater gifts and he provides another list.

Interestingly prophets are second. These are not so much the office of the Old Testament prophet but rather he is setting himself up for what he will say in chapter 14 where he urges us to eagerly desire prophecy.

Importantly the ‘different kinds of tongues’ that were causing the disunity in the church are at the end of the list. It was almost to say they’re not as important for you to fall out over, though in chapter 14 he will encourage us to use them.

Today you may focus on what you don’t have but don’t. Be thankful for what He has given you and how He is using you with that gifting. Pray for more gifts but don’t stress for no one has it all but everyone has something and what we have is powerful!

Unity in diversity is God’s blueprint for the Church

Ever been in a group of people where you can feel the superiority at the surface of people’s conversations? If not then spend a few moments on social media and you will discover it fairly quickly. This Church at Corinth had members who were feeling they were more important than others and it was based on their gifting. Where there is superiority you will always find inferiority. Equally members felt they were not quite making the grade. They were the foot or the ear of a body as Paul explains.

 “Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honourable we treat with special honour. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honour to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it.” (1 Corinthians 12 v 15-26)

What does this tell us?

  • You may feel inferior but you are needed as much as anyone else, v15.
  • You may feel inadequate but that doesn’t change the fact you belong to the whole body of the Church, v16.
  • Pay attention to the giftings in the Church that may appear small but make an important contribution, v17.
  • God created the diversity of the Church. He intended for different gifts to be given to different people, v18.
  • The most important gifting is the whole of the gifts working together, that is the intent of the Holy Spirit, v19-20.
  • No one should look down on anyone for those that appear lesser are indispensable, v21-22
  • The plan of God gives greater honour to those who don’t look as important, v23-25.
  • Church members have bad days and good days and when they do then the whole Church is impacted if they are being who God created them to be, v26.

To take even just one of those points and think about your Church to pray and perhaps make changes in your own life will be transformational.

Paul takes a humorous image of body parts and uses them to bring about this profound teaching and the Church today needs to hear it more than ever.