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Follow my teaching not my example

A strange title I know. But I do it for the reason you will see in this first paragraph.

We are still reading about the food sacrificed to idols. Can we eat it or not? Paul will be saying NO but before he gets there he is addressing the real issue. That is some were saying as a Christian we are free to do so because idols don’t exist. If they don’t exist then of course it doesn’t matter if they eat any type of food. They have the right to eat. It still is the major problem in Church communities. My rights. Grace. I can do what I want. I can be who I want to be. Everyone else falls into line with my rights, right? Paul had the right to eat whatever he wanted. He had the right to have a wife. He had the right not to have to work so that he could be a full-time gospel preacher. He had the same rights as a soldier, farmers and shepherds who got paid for what they do, so he also should receive money for what he did, it was his right. Moses said he should be paid and even Jesus said it too (Luke 10:7) and Paul could have insisted he was paid for the Law and the Lord said so, it was his right. He is not advocating that everyone else followed suit but rather they understand the reason why he wouldn’t take payment. He did have an unusual dramatic conversion quite different to everyone else. There was a uniqueness about his calling and ministry. However the most important reason was his love. He laid down his rights for his love. That was the teaching point he brings through regarding the argument about the food and freedom.

“Don’t we have the right to food and drink? 5 Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas? 6 Or is it only I and Barnabas who lack the right to not work for a living? 7 Who serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard and does not eat its grapes? Who tends a flock and does not drink the milk? 8 Do I say this merely on human authority? Doesn’t the Law say the same thing? 9 For it is written in the Law of Moses: “Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain.”[b] Is it about oxen that God is concerned? 10 Surely he says this for us, doesn’t he? Yes, this was written for us, because whoever plows and threshes should be able to do so in the hope of sharing in the harvest. 11 If we have sown spiritual seed among you, is it too much if we reap a material harvest from you? 12 If others have this right of support from you, shouldn’t we have it all the more? But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ. 13 Don’t you know that those who serve in the temple get their food from the temple, and that those who serve at the altar share in what is offered on the altar? 14 In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel. 15 But I have not used any of these rights. And I am not writing this in the hope that you will do such things for me, for I would rather die than allow anyone to deprive me of this boast. 16 For when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! 17 If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. 18 What then is my reward? Just this: that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge, and so not make full use of my rights as a preacher of the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 9 v 4-18)

Paul had rights and privileges as a Roman citizen. The right to vote and stand for public office. The right to make legal contracts. The right to hold property. The right to immunity from some taxes. The right to request Caesar hear his court cases as his journey in Acts describes. The right not to be tortured or whipped or receive the death penalty, unless he was guilty of treason. In the next letter that he writes to the Church Paul reminds them that “five times I received 39 lashes from Jews. Three times I was beaten with rods by the Romans. Once I was stoned by my enemies” (2 Corinthians 11 v 24-25. That’s outrageous for a Roman citizen to receive. But it shows his heart of love. This was who he was. He was prepared to lay down his rights even if it cost him everything.

  • Your rights and privileges may become a stumbling block to some, so hide them.
  • Your rights and privileges are there not for luxurious living per se, but to sustain you in the mission and others too.
  • The ultimate price which is what Jesus paid is when you forgo completely your rights and privileges for the cause of love.

 We have a citizenship in heaven. We have been born again, a new birth, new creations in Christ Jesus. We have been given power, rights and authority. There are times when we will choose to move in those elements and we will know the protection and the power of God against circumstances that are unbearable. But there are days when we need to surrender our rights. There are times when we know it is the right thing to do, when our immunity from suffering is waived, when we become dust again and we know the pain of living.

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How to respond when you feel you’re on trial?

We move into a new chapter. Paul is not going off on a tangent. This is not a chapter about answering the critics over his apostleship nor is it about him not being paid for the gospel work. It is still about the food sacrificed to idols. It is still about not using your rights to do so for the sake of the love of others who may be hurt if you do. This is the number one problem within the divisions of the church. You have rights but you don’t have to use them. We will read soon these verses:-

“If others have this right of support from you, shouldn’t we have it all the more? But we did not use this right. On the contrary, we put up with anything rather than hinder the gospel of Christ.” (v12)

“But I have not used any of these rights.” (v15)

The message Paul is speaking is that we must surrender our rights for other people. You may be entitled to something or you may be free to behave in a certain way but you don’t have to do that. If as a Christian you enter a lifestyle that others are being saved from what does that do to the Christian community you are part of? That is the message centred around food sacrificed to idols.

But before we go into Paul’s example for this teaching this message let us ponder the first few sentences.

“Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are you not the result of my work in the Lord? 2 Even though I may not be an apostle to others, surely I am to you! For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord. 3 This is my defense to those who sit in judgment on me.” (1 Corinthians 9 v 1-3)

You must be a hermit if you haven’t experienced the criticism of others. How do you respond when people doubt your validity of either your work or just being here! I have seen the crushing blows that suspicion brings. It becomes clear now that the divided Corinthian church were also divided over Paul himself.

So here are 3 helpful responses to when you feel you’re on trial from these 3 verses.

  • Look at my relationship with Jesus. Paul is pointing them to his calling and story. They know the Damascus Road experience he had. You too were called. You have a story. Importantly you have a relationship with Jesus. Above everything your walk with Christ is your defence. Even if you are falsely tried and sentenced by man, their judgment is nothing compared to meeting Almighty God. What Jesus has done for you is your defence. His blood over your life is all you need.
  • Look at my relationship with others. “Am I not free?” I am not a slave to anything. I am not mastered. Those are Paul’s words. Can people look at your life and even before there is evidence they say, ‘I can see it; it isn’t a surprise.” How can you be accused of being a bully when every experience of you and others is that of love?
  • Look at my experiences with those who have brought the criticism about me. Paul was saying they had seen his work and the authenticity of his life. We know from the book of Acts how Paul worked hard amongst God’s people bi-vocationally. You appeal to what you have done and how you have worked. It doesn’t mean you are innocent but it reminds them to think about how they have experienced you. I remember sitting with one Pastor and asking this all important question, “Do you know how others experience you?” He didn’t and that was the problem.

Of course we all know people who have faked the above. But for you today you are not one of those people and these responses may just help you as you navigate a very difficult time of criticism.

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What’s more important to you; your rights and freedom to be who you want to be or the possibility of hurting others?

That question sums up this next long passage which needs to be read as a whole to understand what Paul is wanting to say.

We will see later that Paul is actually very much against eating food sacrificed to idols and he doesn’t pull any punches. However he first appeals for love and unity in this divided church. For Paul, relationships trump rights. Paul knows we can lead people away from Christianity and return them to the defilement that they repented of. How? By knowing what we know and carrying out the rights to live free from religious restrictions. One more thing, it might be helpful when reading of ‘food sacrificed to idols’ to keep that in mind along with another action that you know now is not a sin. It might just help you when reading what Paul says:-

 “So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that “An idol is nothing at all in the world” and that “There is no God but one.” 5 For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”), 6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live. 7 But not everyone possesses this knowledge. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat sacrificial food they think of it as having been sacrificed to a god, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. 8 But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do. 9 Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if someone with a weak conscience sees you, with all your knowledge, eating in an idol’s temple, won’t that person be emboldened to eat what is sacrificed to idols? 11 So this weak brother or sister, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. 12 When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” (1 Corinthians 8 v 4-13)

We know idols don’t exist. When I use the word ‘we’ I mean those of us who don’t worship idols. But some people think they do (Hindus for example). However, they still pale into insignificance compared to the only God the Father and God the Son.

How would it be if a Hindu got saved and left their old defiled life but then saw church members going into their old temple to eat the food sacrificed to idols?

When people come to Christ they leave a defiled life and that can mean a whole bunch of behaviours. How do they feel if they see a Christian picking up certain practices of their previous defiled life? They may think that Christianity plus defilement is okay. They may think it is okay to go back to that defilement. At that point freedom has become more important than relationship.

Those with a ‘weak conscience’ who are still vulnerable to certain defilement need the help of those who have the knowledge that it makes no difference if we eat food sacrificed to idols or if we don’t. That help is not primarily knowledge but it is love. Knowledge for the knowledgeable means the vulnerable can step up into freedom. But read verse 13 again. If love is the driving force and not knowledge then those who feel they have freedom actually don’t. They learn to sacrifice their freedom so that others will not stumble in their walk with Christ. Isn’t that the message of the cross? We do need theology, we need to grow in knowledge but it must sit in our nail-scarred hands. In that way we will be the example of Christ who put down his rights for us all because of the love of God.

The answer to the question is hurting others. We have a responsibility. Our walk with Christ is not an individual walk. It is done in community. The weak and vulnerable are watching and listening to you. Teach them but first love them. If you don’t you will be responsible for hurting them.

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I know more than you but do I love you?

The argument seems to have had 2 sides to it. Those who say idols are nothing therefore go ahead and eat food sacrificed to idols. The other side argued never to touch the idol food.

Paul takes a step back and in doing so we begin to see that whether or not food sacrificed to idols applies to us or not we gain from his wisdom for other situations of our lives.

“Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that “We all possess knowledge.” But knowledge puffs up while love builds up. 2 Those who think they know something do not yet know as they ought to know. 3 But whoever loves God is known by God.” (1 Corinthians 8 v 1-3)

  • Knowing makes us bigger than those who don’t know.
    • But knowing without loving can be destructive.
    • But there’s always more that you don’t know.
  • Loving others makes them bigger than us.
    • Without love what good is knowledge?
  • Loving God is being known by Him.
    • This is the best and truest form of knowledge.

It’s a short devotion. But I invite you to ponder on these 3 truths. What safeguards can we implement in our lives? What is our attitude to life? Are we inflating or building? Today you may wake with some knowledge but make sure you also have the filter of love. Above all invite God to come and know you as you lovingly worship Him.

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“I can do what I like” – “No you can’t”

We know now that this letter is to answer misunderstandings that Paul’s letter provoked. He has told the Church not to associate with people who say they are Christian but don’t live like one. This is certainly still applicable today. Then because of the crisis they were living under he has written extensively on marriage, divorce, remarriage and singleness and again even 2,000 years later we find this helpful. We are now going to be reading the next 3 chapters about something a little strange for us and our culture.

“Now about food sacrificed to idols …” (1 Corinthians 8 v 1)

The question seems to be this: Can Christians eat in pagan temples? But a further question: Can Christians eat the food that was originally prepared for the pagan dinners but then was actually sold in the market? Some would say idols are nothing, compared to God they are non-existent and we shouldn’t be afraid of them therefore do what you want. It is partly true. Paul says (8:1 – 10:22 don’t do that. Don’t respond to the invitations to have dinner in the pagan temple restaurants where this food is offered previously to idols (even if idols are non-existent). But if you are shopping in the markets don’t be worrying if you are buying this kind of food (10: 25-26) and when you’re home, so long as it won’t upset and disturb the faith of guests, again don’t worry (but if it does then don’t eat the food associated with idols).

It might seem non-applicable to us but it isn’t. We will be challenged because idols are all around us. In the midst of Paul answering this question he will also reveal some amazing statements of faith and advice for Christian living.

Now about food sacrificed to idols.

This is the opener. The focus is not the food but it is the idols. They lived at a time when much of their food was linked to the worship of gods. And so do we.

Yesterday the news channels reported on India’s biggest Hindu festival, the Kumbh Mela, it is held every 12 years and lasts for 6 weeks (until February 26th) Around 400 million pilgrims are expected and yesterday alone 16 million had taken a ritual bath in the Ganges. In their promotional material (which is easily accessed online as I did this morning) they advertise ‘The Role of Food at Kumbh Mela), “It is more than sustenance; it’s a spiritual offering ….” (https://ujjainkumbh.com)

Throughout the Bible we are told not to associate with idols. We are prohibited within the 10 Commandments to worship other gods in anyway.

Idols are things we look to in order to find God. Idols are all around us. We can come closer to home than the Ganges. Is it possible to idolise people and places and become in danger of worshipping those things? Could it be that idols are in the Church? Maybe we are not eating food sacrificed to idols but are we living our lives accepting of idols nevertheless? Do we have an attitude that we can do anything we want. We can bring into our lives and into our Churches anything we want to either entertain or sustain us. Could it be possible we don’t know? Idolising is to make a person or a place (or a statue resembling a god) more than they are and equal to God (in terms of desire, time and energy). Are idols amongst us? The argument commences with this opening sentence. It is simply based on this statement which is as relevant today: I can do what I like. Paul will say No you can’t.

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When going through a crisis don’t make big decisions that could make things worse.

The Los Angeles fires right now are horrendous. We have seen people fleeing for their lives literally seconds before their homes were engulfed in flames. The next news bulletin shows a school in Gaza bombed and the children had nowhere to run. I could continue throughout the world. With that picture those people at the centre of the trauma are not making the usual decisions of their life before the events happened.

The Apostle Paul in his teaching on marriage, divorce, remarriage and singleness says we should remain as we are. Why? Here are the reasons:-

“Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is… 29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7 v 28, 29, 32, 35)

Paul was not against marriage. He was being pastoral.

We know that at that time the Church was being persecuted; we know there were battles in the Roman leadership (Claudius was poisoned by his wife and Nero replaced him) and this impacted the ordinary people; in AD 70 Jerusalem was destroyed; Josephus writes of famine so horrendous that cannibalism was taking place; life was bad. Paul could have also been thinking Christ was returning and in those evil days you could see why.

Context is everything.

Moving from one place to another, escaping the fires of LA, the bombs of Gaza, the persecution and evil world of the first century was not conducive for getting married and then perhaps providing for young children.

Paul says remain as you are.

We need to be careful when we are going through tough times that our decisions take into consideration the context we are in.

Don’t let those decisions increase the burden of your day.

Don’t take on extra responsibilities.

Facing a looming exile into Babylon Jeremiah prays, “it is not for man to direct his steps,” (10 v23). Are you making a decision today? You may be facing insurmountable challenges. His prayer encourages us to think on God and trust Him to make the way clear for us to overcome these challenges.
Thomas Merton, priest and theologian, wrote what became known as “the Merton Prayer”.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Perhaps today certain decisions don’t need to be made. Except the decision to please the Lord in the crisis you are in.

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Blair Humphreys

I only met him once. I was preaching at his church several years ago and he was leaning over the pa desk talking to a member of the church and as I walked past, I simply said hello. That was it. I didn’t really know him. Yet not only was he a Facebook friend but every day he would encourage me by responding to these devotional blogs. His comments and private messages revealed a single man who was devoted to the Lord. He had never married and he lived a celibate life. I know this because he told me. We talked about anything and everything. He loved reading the Bible and many books on the subject of the Spirit. If I actually bought every book he recommended to me I would have by now a separate Blair Humphrey’s library! He is now with the Lord. He passed away yesterday in a local hospice. I am sad but happy for him.

It seems apt to me that the verses today remind me very much of Blair.

It’s a long passage and I may look again at it tomorrow in more detail but for now let’s look at it from a birds-eye view. 

“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honourably towards the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin – this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is – and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 NIVUK

A friend who is single and a missionary contacted me recently and told me of the many blessings a single life brings. I agreed. The Apostle Paul agreed. The single life is a blessed life. Why?

Paul says they are:-

  • More able to focus on the “Lord’s affairs”.
  • Not having to carry out responsibility to others and so dividing attention to the Lord.
  • Less anxiety over certain issues.
  • Happier! 

Now before you write in and say what do I know as I’m married or how dare I say singles are more happier than marrieds, just check what Paul wrote. He said those things! 

So let me also summarise what he said about married life:-

  • Marriage is not a bad thing, it’s not sinful.
  • If you are widowed you are free to remarry if you desire, but marry a Christian.
  • Marriage is for life. 

However you read these verses (and they’re not preached very much in churches understandably because they’re difficult to read never mind comment on) they come from a Pastor who takes his responsibility for singles and marrieds seriously. His wisdom and quotations from Jesus are timeless. Whatever status you have the focus is the same for us all – to serve the Lord with undivided devotion. To daily walk with Jesus and unashamedly let the world know you are doing so. Something my Facebook friend certainly did. 

Enjoy heaven Blair!

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Just stay as you are whether married, single, divorced, widowed, remarried or whatever …

When I get married I will walk with God. If I was only single then I would walk more closely with the Lord. I’ll wait for the divorce to come through and then I will be free to see God use me. If I get remarried then I will back on track and God will start to work through me again. Nonsense. Just stay as you are. Stop playing around with whatever circumstance you find yourself in. Ignore whether others are more happier than you. For you, right now, you can have a walk with Jesus no matter your circumstance. That’s the pastoral advice from the Apostle.

“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. 21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.” (1 Corinthians 7 v 17-24)

So embrace your current situation, the season you are in, who you are. Just stay as you are. God can use you right now as you are. Stop trying to change to prove or earn favour. It’s just tiring.

Of course Paul isn’t saying remain in a sinful profession or continue to live sinful lives. We are called out from such. Neither are we being forbidden from changing our status whether married or single. This is about motive.

If you’re waiting for something perfect to come along to begin to live out your faith and work for God then you will be waiting a long time.

Afterall transformation happens not because you have changed your external circumstances but by allowing God to work through them.

One more important thing to ponder on is verse 23. In a culture where everyone was used to seeing men and women in the market place with price tags around their necks, Paul says ‘do not become slaves of human beings’. This command is pertinent to us not because of the threat of literally being a slave but because of the various potential masters that overshadow our lives:-

  • The opinion and expectation of others.
  • Cultural pressures and societal norms.
  • Religious legalism and human traditions.
  • Unhealthy relationships.
  • Material possessions and the pursuit of them.
  • The approval of others.

Just stay as you are. That list is nonsense. It is degrading. It is enslaving. You belong to Christ. He bought you for a price. It cost Him. So stay as you are.

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Marriage, divorce and remarriage

Before we read what can seem very difficult verses I note down some application that helps me. It comes from Jesus and Paul (HIM not I and I not HIM). Paul uses the message from Jesus on these topics but where Jesus doesn’t expound Paul does. Here’s my summary:-

  • Whenever possible marriage should be kept.
  • Your walk with Christ doesn’t mean you have to walk from your marriage.
  • Believers can have a spiritual impact on their unbelieving spouse.
  • God wants marriages to be peaceful.
  • God wants marriages to be places of hope.

So here comes the verses!

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7 v 10-16)

Paul is answering questions that have come from their letter to him. It would seem that the Church in their desire to be more holy and spiritual were either not marrying or divorcing to live single lives. We gain that understanding from Paul’s answers so far in this chapter. So he focuses on Jesus.

Jesus said that a spouse must not separate from their spouse but if they do they should remain unmarried or be reconciled (Matt 5; 19; Mark 10; Luke 16). Looking at those passages we see that Jesus was focusing very much on the motives, attitudes and the reasoning behind divorcing and remarrying. He did not allow for divorce if it was used to pretend to be more spiritual or for personal gain (“except for immorality” indicates ‘for any cause’) and that could mean the smallest of things from a desire to get closer to God to the spouse spoiling the dinner! (Even today I read that a wife filed for divorce in California because her husband voted for Donald Trump!)

So Paul writes and says NO you are not more holy if you separate from your marriage. But if you have done so because of that reason or any similar crazy reason then remain as you are or go back to your marriage.

Jesus never spoke about what happens if a believer is married to an unbeliever, so Paul (I not Jesus) gives wisdom.

  • An unbelieving spouse isn’t saved because of the believing spouse but there is a greater chance of being so and the values of the believing spouse are more likely to rub off on to them.
  • If the unbelieving spouse walks from the believer then let it be. The believing spouse is not then bound to the vows they have made to the deserting spouse and so are free to start again and remarry if they want to do so.

These verses and similar ones in the Bible have been misinterpreted causing pain to those who become trapped into a legalistic Christianity where grace is in short supply but also by those who have such casual approach to life where holiness is an option.

We must uphold marriage but at the same time understand we live in a fallen and ever changing world where relationships break and pain exists. No one ever falls outside of the grace of God to reach them to pick them back up again not to then put them in a set of chains for the rest of their lives but to bring them into true freedom.

I guess every situation is different. We must carry the Word of God into those situations but not man’s interpretation of it that only meets some wrong motive and attitude.

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Is it better to be single or married?

How you answer that may reveal the circumstance that you are currently living in!

Sometimes in Church life marriage is elevated and singleness is silenced or else it is also elevated to an awkward place where singles feel stigmatised within the desire to pastorally help them. 

These are difficult things to read and to write about. I tread carefully!

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ 

In answering the question I am thinking of 3 major things as I read these 2 verses. 

But first let’s unpack what Paul says.

  • Singleness is good. In the nicest world and in some cultures around the world today this it’s important to declare.
  • Not everyone has the gift of celibacy.
  • Everyone has the freedom to marry and that’s actual;y not that they can’t control themselves as much as they know they don’t have the gift of celibacy/

So in answering the question and looking at these 2 verses I believe this:-

  1. Embrace your current state with gratitude. 
  2. Be honest about your needs.
  3. Be free to make choices that support holiness in whatever circumstances you find yourself in.