Author: missionspaul

The Los Angeles fires right now are horrendous. We have seen people fleeing for their lives literally seconds before their homes were engulfed in flames. The next news bulletin shows a school in Gaza bombed and the children had nowhere to run. I could continue throughout the world. With that picture those people at the centre of the trauma are not making the usual decisions of their life before the events happened.

The Apostle Paul in his teaching on marriage, divorce, remarriage and singleness says we should remain as we are. Why? Here are the reasons:-

“Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is… ²⁹ What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; ³² I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. ³⁵ I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7 v 28, 29, 32, 35)

Paul was not against marriage. He was being pastoral.

We know that at that time the Church was being persecuted; we know there were battles in the Roman leadership (Claudius was poisoned by his wife and Nero replaced him) and this impacted the ordinary people; in AD 70 Jerusalem was destroyed; Josephus writes of famine so horrendous that cannibalism was taking place; life was bad. Paul could have also been thinking Christ was returning and in those evil days you could see why.

Context is everything.

Moving from one place to another, escaping the fires of LA, the bombs of Gaza, the persecution and evil world of the first century was not conducive for getting married and then perhaps providing for young children.

Paul says remain as you are.

We need to be careful when we are going through tough times that our decisions take into consideration the context we are in.

Don’t let those decisions increase the burden of your day.

Don’t take on extra responsibilities.

Facing a looming exile into Babylon Jeremiah prays, “it is not for man to direct his steps,” (10 v23). Are you making a decision today? You may be facing insurmountable challenges. His prayer encourages us to think on God and trust Him to make the way clear for us to overcome these challenges.
Thomas Merton, priest and theologian, wrote what became known as “the Merton Prayer”.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Perhaps today certain decisions don’t need to be made. Except the decision to please the Lord in the crisis you are in.

I only met him once. I was preaching at his church several years ago and he was leaning over the pa desk talking to a member of the church and as I walked past, I simply said hello. That was it. I didn’t really know him. Yet not only was he a Facebook friend but every day he would encourage me by responding to these devotional blogs. His comments and private messages revealed a single man who was devoted to the Lord. He had never married and he lived a celibate life. I know this because he told me. We talked about anything and everything. He loved reading the Bible and many books on the subject of the Spirit. If I actually bought every book he recommended to me I would have by now a separate Blair Humphrey’s library! He is now with the Lord. He passed away yesterday in a local hospice. I am sad but happy for him.

It seems apt to me that the verses today remind me very much of Blair.

It’s a long passage and I may look again at it tomorrow in more detail but for now let’s look at it from a birds-eye view. 

“Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world – how he can please his wife – and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honourably towards the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin – this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is – and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.”

1 Corinthians 7:25-40 NIVUK

A friend who is single and a missionary contacted me recently and told me of the many blessings a single life brings. I agreed. The Apostle Paul agreed. The single life is a blessed life. Why?

Paul says they are:-

• More able to focus on the “Lord’s affairs”.
• Not having to carry out responsibility to others and so dividing attention to the Lord.
• Less anxiety over certain issues.
• Happier! 

Now before you write in and say what do I know as I’m married or how dare I say singles are more happier than marrieds, just check what Paul wrote. He said those things! 

So let me also summarise what he said about married life:-

• Marriage is not a bad thing, it’s not sinful.
• If you are widowed you are free to remarry if you desire, but marry a Christian.
• Marriage is for life. 

However you read these verses (and they’re not preached very much in churches understandably because they’re difficult to read never mind comment on) they come from a Pastor who takes his responsibility for singles and marrieds seriously. His wisdom and quotations from Jesus are timeless. Whatever status you have the focus is the same for us all – to serve the Lord with undivided devotion. To daily walk with Jesus and unashamedly let the world know you are doing so. Something my Facebook friend certainly did. 

Enjoy heaven Blair!

Before we read what can seem very difficult verses I note down some application that helps me. It comes from Jesus and Paul (HIM not I and I not HIM). Paul uses the message from Jesus on these topics but where Jesus doesn’t expound Paul does. Here’s my summary:-

• Whenever possible marriage should be kept.
• Your walk with Christ doesn’t mean you have to walk from your marriage.
• Believers can have a spiritual impact on their unbelieving spouse.
• God wants marriages to be peaceful.
• God wants marriages to be places of hope.

So here comes the verses!

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹ But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. ¹² To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. ¹³ And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. ¹⁶ How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” (1 Corinthians 7 v 10-16)

Paul is answering questions that have come from their letter to him. It would seem that the Church in their desire to be more holy and spiritual were either not marrying or divorcing to live single lives. We gain that understanding from Paul’s answers so far in this chapter. So he focuses on Jesus.

Jesus said that a spouse must not separate from their spouse but if they do they should remain unmarried or be reconciled (Matt 5; 19; Mark 10; Luke 16). Looking at those passages we see that Jesus was focusing very much on the motives, attitudes and the reasoning behind divorcing and remarrying. He did not allow for divorce if it was used to pretend to be more spiritual or for personal gain (“except for immorality” indicates ‘for any cause’) and that could mean the smallest of things from a desire to get closer to God to the spouse spoiling the dinner! (Even today I read that a wife filed for divorce in California because her husband voted for Donald Trump!)

So Paul writes and says NO you are not more holy if you separate from your marriage. But if you have done so because of that reason or any similar crazy reason then remain as you are or go back to your marriage.

Jesus never spoke about what happens if a believer is married to an unbeliever, so Paul (I not Jesus) gives wisdom.

• An unbelieving spouse isn’t saved because of the believing spouse but there is a greater chance of being so and the values of the believing spouse are more likely to rub off on to them.
• If the unbelieving spouse walks from the believer then let it be. The believing spouse is not then bound to the vows they have made to the deserting spouse and so are free to start again and remarry if they want to do so.

These verses and similar ones in the Bible have been misinterpreted causing pain to those who become trapped into a legalistic Christianity where grace is in short supply but also by those who have such casual approach to life where holiness is an option.

We must uphold marriage but at the same time understand we live in a fallen and ever changing world where relationships break and pain exists. No one ever falls outside of the grace of God to reach them to pick them back up again not to then put them in a set of chains for the rest of their lives but to bring them into true freedom.

I guess every situation is different. We must carry the Word of God into those situations but not man’s interpretation of it that only meets some wrong motive and attitude.

How you answer that may reveal the circumstance that you are currently living in!

Sometimes in Church life marriage is elevated and singleness is silenced or else it is also elevated to an awkward place where singles feel stigmatised within the desire to pastorally help them. 

These are difficult things to read and to write about. I tread carefully!

“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ 

In answering the question I am thinking of 3 major things as I read these 2 verses. 

But first let’s unpack what Paul says.

• Singleness is good. In the nicest world and in some cultures around the world today this it’s important to declare.
• Not everyone has the gift of celibacy.
• Everyone has the freedom to marry and that’s actual;y not that they can’t control themselves as much as they know they don’t have the gift of celibacy/

So in answering the question and looking at these 2 verses I believe this:-

1. Embrace your current state with gratitude. 
2. Be honest about your needs.
3. Be free to make choices that support holiness in whatever circumstances you find yourself in.

The Bible speaks positively about sex within marriage.

What we are about to read highlights the need even moreso today to understand the message that Christians should proclaim regarding both the high value placed on sexual relations within marriage and the high value of celibacy for singles. 

“Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.’ But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfil his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7‬:‭1‬-‭7‬ ‭

Perhaps some in the church were advocating for a sexless marriage influenced perhaps by Greek philosophical idea that viewed the body as evil. 

Or perhaps this was another quote like the ones at the end of chapter 6 which Paul was correcting. 

Or maybe this was another misunderstanding from Paul’s first letter that he is now having to correct, “I didn’t say that nor mean it but let me quote what you wrote me …”

Note: Some people say that single pastors and preachers should not teach on sex within marriage. We see here that the thought is nonsense because the leading figure of the New Testament Church is single and is the one who speaks most about sex within marriage. 

So back to it. What do these 7 verses mean? Is it “good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman?” Paul says categorically NO. Here are 6 things he says:-

• All married people should have sexual relations with each other. 
• In fact it is a duty and not to do so is to deprive the other. If there is going to be a break then it should be seen as for prayer (and probably fasting) and only for a short time. 
• Either spouse does not have authority over their own body, it belongs to their spouse.
• Sex within marriage is for when both parties surrender perhaps their own desires (or lack of!) and give voluntarily their bodies to their spouses regardless, voluntarily, willingly and without compulsion. (The Lord loves a cheerful giver after all!)
• Both spouses have equal rights and responsibilities.
• Protect the marriage from unnecessary temptation by having regular sexual relations. 

Hold on! Here comes the slap in the face …. “I wish you were all like me, single and have a non-sexual life.” Paul will say more in the next few verses and we will get to them. But the teaching on sexual relations within marriage must be taught with this declaration in the background. There is no superiority between the married and the single member in the Church. For Paul, a single man, it is better to live a sex-free single life and we will find out why next. But Paul was not alone as history is full of powerful men and women who lived the single life starting with of course Jesus. But other great examples of historical Christian figures are Amy Carmichael, Corrie Ten Boom,, Jackie Pullinger, John Stott and Dietrich Bonhoeffer. So if you’re single and whether or not you are preferring not to be encouraged by what Paul writes. If you’re married then live out the vows you committed to one another and do what Paul says. But there is no superiority.

The title is so important for many who are already followers of Jesus. It isn’t those who have rejected Christ who will be deceived but those who follow. Why lie to the world? No the lie is to those within the Church. The lie is to blind us to what we already know or for us to change what we know to believe and follow an alternative way.

It was a rainy Saturday morning of my 2nd year in College and it was yet another football match against a local team. I was surprised I was in the team. I always thought I was making up the numbers. Others were far better. I’d run around a lot. If the ball came to me I would immediately pass it on with the attitude of ‘let me get rid of this thing’. Half-time came and as we walked off the pitch the captain of our team came alongside me and said he was going to make some changes and substitute one of the players. Immediately I offered to be substituted. It was the obvious thing to do. His response shocked me, “No. You’re one of our best players.”

In the second half I went on to that pitch a different man. I got that ball. I called for it. I ran with the ball. I tackled for the ball. I played a different game. Was the difference in my performance? Maybe, but it was definitely in my mind. All because my captain said you are more than what you think you are.

Many people are going through life not understanding who they are in Christ and as a result they can be fooled into wrong behaviour.

Paul will ask the question ‘do you not know?’ Why are you deceived?

“Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men ¹⁰ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. ¹¹ And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6 v 9-11)

Are your sins in the list? It’s a list of 9. Which is the worst sin on the list? Can you grade them? Surely greed isn’t the same as men having sex with men? But Paul puts them together.
Some Christians get so angry with the sins of other Christians.
We don’t like seeing ourselves on the sin list.

Allegedly, Charles Spurgeon invited D.L. Moody to speak at an event he hosted. Moody accepted and preached the entire time about the evils of tobacco, and why the Lord doesn’t want Christians to smoke. Spurgeon, a cigar smoker, was surprised at what seemed to be a cheap shot levelled by Moody, using the pulpit to condemn a fellow minister. When Moody finished preaching, Spurgeon walked up to the podium and said, “Mr. Moody, I’ll put down my cigars when you put down your fork.” Moody was overweight.

We are all on someone’s sin list.
But not God’s.
Because we were washed, sanctified and justified!
It’s those 3 declarations which mean we are in the kingdom of God, within the rule of Christ.
So what is Paul saying?

Do you not know? Do not be deceived.

If we have fallen into the sin list then we know how to get out of it.

We want to be who we have been made to be in Christ.

We want to inherit the kingdom.

We want to stay in alignment to God and so we rely on the powerful name of Jesus who continually cleanses, makes us holy and declares us righteous by the work of the Holy Spirit within us.

We have seen Paul wading through the issues that he had bene informed of, probably from Chloe’s household (1:11) and in this chapter we see 2 more. The first is very apt for 2025. Before we read I don’t believe this is giving license not to inform the authorities of criminal activity within the Church. If the law is broken the Police need to be informed. The Church should not cover-up or be silent. If the Church knows of serious allegations of illegal behaviour then the Church should speak up.

“If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? ² Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? ³ Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! ⁴ Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? ⁵ I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? ⁶ But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers! ⁷ The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? ⁸ Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.” (1 Corinthians 6 v 1-8)

When Jesus told us not to judge (Matthew 7:1) he wasn’t meaning that the Church, like that in Corinth, should totally ignore judgment within the Church. Jesus was speaking of the position of pride and our the attitude of our heart looking down on one another.

But it id difficult looking at an incident 2,000 years ago in a world very different to our own. However I see this passage being very applicable to us regarding how we handle disputes and civil matters within the tabloids of life, the courts of social media and indeed the civilian courts.

You have lived a sheltered life if you have been a Church member for years and not witnessed disputes. It happens wherever people gather. The Apostle Paul has something to say in these verses though that help us.

• We will judge the world and angels (v2-3). He reminds us of our future exalted position in Christ. We have the mind of Christ and the presence of the Spirit so why are we not able to judge between issues of the members of the church?
• It impacts the testimony of the Church (v4-6). The world sees the disunity and also how selfish we are to win the argument.
• There is no evidence of the cross of Christ (v7-8). Sometimes we need to realise that losing is actually to win.

So a few questions to ponder:

• In the Church how do we balance justice and unity?
• In the Church what are our pathways for conflict resolution?
• In the Church how can we handle disputes in a way that honours Christ and maintains the unity of the Church?

My gym has rules. My wife doesn’t obey the rules of the gym. But the gym cannot discipline her because she hasn’t joined the gym. Gyms are not for everyone. 

The Church isn’t for everyone. That sounds heretical but it isn’t. Not according to the Apostle Paul. For him the Church had rules. Not everyone obeyed those rules. But the church should not judge those who are not part of the church. They should only judge those who do.

Before we read and before I write anymore, I came across a letter the other day which came from an attender of my church 20 years ago. I saved it purposely even though it was a horrible letter from a man who threatened his resignation if I didn’t deal with the sinful woman who approached the Lord’s table with a t-shirt carrying the abbreviated slogan of the fashion designer, French connection, now known as unison. I’m thinking of this because there are times when those passing judgment on a fellow believer cannot see their own sin which far outweighs that of those they are accusing. I eventually helped him with his resignation! The point I am making is this, being a judge inside the church needs careful handling. We need to tread carefully. Some have experienced deep hurt from pharisaical judges. We are all sinners. 

““But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. ‘Expel the wicked person from among you.’”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭11‬-‭13‬ ‭

The church is not being unloving or extremely judgmental or bordering on abusive if it disciplines its own members who live unrepentant heinous lifestyles (like having an affair with your step-mother). 

Some may want to begin immediately to look at the rules and Paul does provide a list. However the main point is that harsh judgment for those outside the church and leniency for those within runs counter to how the church should be. 

It is nonsensical to expect those who have not decided to follow Christ to follow the standards of Christ. 

The integrity and the witness of the church demands that the standards within the Christian community are higher than those outside. It is also the responsibility of the Church community to maintain those standards. There is no place for individualism. The Church is not a gathered group of people who live out their faith in whatever way they decide. Rather the Church has a responsibility to protect the holiness of the community. 

So we don’t exit the world, far from it, we are present in the world as light in the darkness.

But we sadly might have to show the exit door to a member of the church community who blatantly spits in the face of that community by being ‘wicked’. We do that for restoration not simply punishment.

We have no authority to police those outside the church but every church needs a structure of accountability in order to correct and keep us in alignment to the Word and the Spirit. 

The Church with no rules or who turn a blind eye to the rules are strictly not the church. Let judgment begin within the house of God but let God help us!